A Note to My Students
The Question
At the final lecture of the semester in my Discerning Your Calling course at Vanguard University, one of my students (S. L.) asked a question that I’ve never been asked before: “What do you wish every twenty-something knew about forty-somethings?” (I believe his question was prompted by my question which I had asked the students: “What do you twenty-somethings wish us forty-somethings knew about you?”)
It was a great question. My initial response was multiple, mostly garbled, and quite inaccurate. After offering one or two sort of cliche answers (which were nevertheless true of myself), I said something along these lines: “Not to sound defensive, but I wish students knew their professors too were once young and hip and such.” But after saying it and then through the next day, I realize that that statement was not what I really meant to say. So, I sent out an announcement to my students the next day to clarify. Here is the clarification. I hope it helps you in some way, whether you’re twenty or forty or know someone who is.
Life is hugely about mentorship.
Dear Students,
I trust this finds you well.
I’ve given a bit more thought to the question that Spencer asked: “What do you wish every twenty-something knew about forty-somethings?” And I’d like to share my thoughts with you – hopefully this time in a more cogent and coherent manner. Now, I say “cogent and coherent,” though I realize what follows will necessarily be a bit convoluted in virtue of the nature of the question – i.e., hypothetical and subjunctive. Hence, the many repetition of words and phrases that follow …
Here is my answer: It isn’t so much that this forty-something (myself) wishes twenty-somethings knew that we forty-somethings were also once “cool, hip, etc.” Rather, I think I wish that twenty-somethings knew that we forty-somethings also once believed that we knew so very much about the world, theology, life, and the rest. That is, I wish my students knew that, in my twenties, I thought I knew a lot more than I now realize I had known back then. Now that I’m in my forties, I realize how little I knew when I was in my twenties – and I wish my students who are now in their twenties knew that they too one day
(probably in their forties) will know what I now know today.
The reason for this wish is two-fold: First, it might motivate my students to want to learn more. Class engagement, reading expectations, and the like would probably be much less a problem, if my students had the awareness of how much more they had in front of them to learn – which in turn might cause a hunger to form in them to so learn. Secondly – and more importantly for me – it just might motivate students to lean into their relationships with their forty- or fifty- or sixty-something friends (i.e., mentors, professors, etc.) from whom they could benefit so much “on the front-end” of life (so to speak). So my wish really is my students’ flourishing.
Thank you for reading this note. Thank you for the good questions last night. Thank you for a great semester.